Waking Lee - Part I
by Pippa2233
Summary: This is a Chip/Lee slash story. This is set in an AU and contains mature themes about a developing relationship between two men. If you don't enjoy slash you will hate this. I will rate the more explicit chapters M.
1. Chapter 1

_This is an AU story from IA universe. I have written Chip and Lee quite young. Since the youngest submarine commander in the USN was twenty-seven I gave Lee the same age when he got his navy command. This seemed a reasonable age for young men to be asking themselves the questions of this story and finding its answers. I have followed much of the fandom cannon (Lee is younger than Chip, the youngest sub commander, doesn't like sickbay and doesn't eat as much as his friends think he should. That Chip is heavier than Lee and has a great appetite and hates ONI.). I'm not sure where all these notions originated but I enjoy playing with them. _

Chip knocked softly on the cabin door. If Lee was awake he wanted to make sure he had breakfast before spending sixteen hours walking around the boat. His knock was soft though because if, by some miracle, Lee was still asleep he wanted to be very sure he didn't wake him. He heard an inarticulate call from the cabin and smiled to himself as he opened the door. Lee was never at his best when he first woke. Actually, he wasn't even close to good until he'd had his second cup of coffee.

As soon as he stepped into the cabin he realized that the inarticulate sound had not been Lee giving him permission to enter, but his friend calling out in his sleep. The light from the desk lamp, uncharacteristically left on while Lee slept, showed his captain still in bed.

Chip hesitated in the doorway, but when Lee called out again he closed the door and stepped to the bunk. This wasn't Lee waking slowly and looking for his morning caffeine hit. Lee had the blanket and sheet bunched at his waist, and was struggling against some unseen assailant. Chip had put his hand on Lee's arm and started to speak to him when the sight of Lee's torso, naked above the sheet, stopped him cold.

Lee captured and questioned would have resulted in some damage but Chip hadn't expected the long sections of black bruises. At first he thought it must be a trick of the shadows from the desk light. When he looked closer he realized that great sections of Lee's chest and abdomen were covered with thick, dark marks, apparently he'd been beaten with some sort of a stick.

Lee's thrashing broke his reverie and he called softly, "Wake-up, buddy."

Lee yanked his arm so hard Chip lost his hold, stepping back quickly as his friend swung at him. He'd woken Lee before from bad dreams and he knew to be careful that he didn't come up swinging at the monsters that haunted his sleep. "Hey, buddy, wake-up."

He recognized that Lee was awake when his friend collapsed back into the bed with a groan and rolled toward the bulkhead pulling his knees up as he cradled his ribs. That swing had to have hurt those sore ribs.

Chip stepped back up to the bunk and put his hand on Lee's shoulder enjoying the feel of his friend's warm flesh under his hand. Lee could so easily have not come back from this latest adventure. He'd been gone for over a week, not the two days he'd promised when he gave Chip a smile and a wink on departure_. "Don't worry, buddy, a walk in the park."_

Chip hadn't believed in Lee's optimistic estimates of his jobs for ONI in years. He'd hoped that when Lee came to work for NIMR he would no longer accept the ONI assignments. But here he was in command of the _Seaview_ less then six months and damaged from another intelligence foray. He'd argued with Lee about the assignment, but Lee wasn't only his friend, he was his boss too now. He'd pleaded, said as much as he could until Lee got that stubborn set to his mouth and Chip shut up.

Chip sighed looking at Lee's bruised and damaged body. In the short time Lee had been in command of the big boat it'd come to feel so natural that they should be running her together. This was the future they'd only dared to dream of when they talked late into the night in their room at Annapolis, the two of them running a boat. Then it'd been Chip as captain and Lee as his XO. They'd assumed the command would be Chip's, he guessed because he was the older

Lee had usually deferred to him in those early days although even then Lee couldn't be persuaded to do anything he didn't want to do. He'd allowed Chip to be the leader. It'd only been when Lee came to command the _Seaview_ that Chip realized this was the way it was always meant to be. Chip's attention to detail was perfect in an exec who had to stand between the captain and crew. Lee's reticence and more cerebral approach to problems were perfect in a captain.

The past six months had been great fun as they used the skills they'd learned in the navy to manage the _Seaview_, meeting all of the Admiral's demands upon them and the boat. As always anything he did with Lee was more fun than anything he did without him. He hadn't realized what a hole there'd been in his life once he left the Academy and Lee behind.

They'd still been best friends after graduation but it'd been different, meeting on their leaves when they could manage to; keeping up with each other's adventures through the mail and telephone calls. He'd so missed the closeness of those long nighttime talks and the quiet walks in the evening around the quad. He'd missed Lee a lot. He guessed, much as he hated the pain of watching his friend put himself in harms way, it was better than not having Lee with him.

He realized he'd been standing staring down at Lee with his hand on his shoulder for over a minute lost in his thoughts, "Sorry, I knocked and when you called out I thought you were awake."

Lee nodded his head but didn't make any effort to turn and face him. Chip could feel him shaking and gave a squeeze to his shoulder and attempted a lighter tone, "Hey, bad trip ashore could haunt anyone's dreams."

When Lee made no reply and didn't move Chip sat down on the edge of the bunk. He kept his hand on Lee. He didn't say anything, giving Lee time to finish waking up, to finish dealing with whatever he'd been fighting in his sleep. This trip hadn't only been tough on Lee's body he guessed but something must have happened to be haunting his dreams as well. Chip wondered if he should say something, try to get Lee to talk about what ever was waking him in the night? He'd known things had gone worse than expected as soon as he'd seen his friend slowly climbing down the ladder in the control room the previous afternoon. Lee's quick dismissal of the mission and the week of worry as _'sort of a mess, got picked up by the rebels'_. Had done nothing to reassure him.

He wanted to help if he could, take some of the pain and make it less. He wasn't sure how much mothering Lee would allow. He had to walk such a fine line between the care he wanted to give his sometimes prickly, friend and the help Lee would accept. He had a sudden desire to reach over and wrap his arms around Lee. He looked so defenseless and alone, pulled up into a ball on the bunk.

He moved his hand down Lee's arm in a gentle stroke. That was when he realized how warm Lee felt. At first he thought it was from his thrashing around in the bed, that perhaps fighting his memories so hard he'd gotten hot. Then cursing himself for a fool he realized that the room was freezing. He got up and checked the thermostat. Lee had turned the room's temperature down to 55 degrees, the lowest setting the thermostat permitted.

Chip walked back over to the bed and sat down on the edge of the bunk and put his hand back on Lee's shoulder. "Lee, you got a fever?"

"Go away, Chip, I'm fine." Lee still had his back to him and made no effort to sit up, but also no effort to move away.

Chip kept his hand on him offering what support he could with his touch. "Not going to happen and you know it, roll over and talk to me." Chip felt more comfortable now that Lee was talking to him.

Lee made no reply and Chip sat still waiting him out. When two minutes went by he began to think Lee had gone back to sleep.

"Come on, buddy, I think you have a fever, you feel awfully warm to me."

"Just go, I'm fine."

"I already saw so you might as well roll over and sit up." Chip gave up on the light tone and let the anger he was feeling bleed into his voice. He was angry that Lee had hidden the beating from him, and he was very angry that someone had done this to his friend. Because someone had done this to Lee, no one accidently ended up with long black bruises all over their chest and stomach. Not unless someone beat them with a stick, probably while asking questions that couldn't be answered.

"Roll over, Lee, you're going to talk to me and I'd rather have this conversation looking at you. But we're going to have this conversation. We should've talked about this yesterday when you told me you were okay to run all over this boat." Chip stopped, he needed to not attack Lee when he was simply being Lee - stupid, silent, 'hide his injuries' Lee.

"Come on, pal, roll over and talk to me." Chip let the anger go and spoke with all of the concern, and yes love that he felt for this man who was more of a brother to him than a friend.

Lee rolled toward Chip so he was lying on his back, attempting to pull up the sheet as he moved. Chip's weight on the bedclothes prevented this and Lee ended half turned toward him his torso still uncovered. Chip put out his hand and gently touched one of the many welts with the tip of his finger.

"My God, Lee."

"It doesn't matter; can we not talk about this? Let me get up, move."

"No, I don't think so, I think we're going to talk about this," moving his hand so it rested on Lee's forehead he finished, "and this. You have a fever, how long have you had a fever?"

"It's from the beating, it'll be gone in a day or so, don't worry, you're like someone's mother."

"No, I'm your friend and I'm asking now as your friend, how sick are you?" Chip kept his voice soft and even. He knew from experience he could only push Lee so far and he would go silent on him. Talking about his health was not Lee's favorite pastime and Chip suspected this case was going to be worse than the bad norm.

"Good enough to do my job, so move. I need to get up."

"Really, you really need to get up? Then you can answer a few questions first. Have you been to see the corpsman since you've been aboard?"

"Get up, its a few bruises, I'm fine." There was that edge of steel in Lee's voice and Chip knew if he'd any hope of continuing this conversation he had to let his friend get up. Reluctantly he stood and took a step back from the bunk. He watched motionlessly as Lee awkwardly rolled to his side and lowered his feet to the floor and sat up with his arms wrapped protectively around his middle.

"You are such an idiot, they broke a couple of ribs didn't they? You didn't say a friggin' word, just kept wandering around the boat with your damn ribs? Talk to me, how hurt are you?"

Lee didn't say anything, Chip wasn't sure he could as he watched him struggle to his feet.

"Just stiff first thing when I get up, nothing's broken."

"Yeah, I bet you are," Chip said, putting as much sarcasm into his voice as he could, "and when you sit down and when you walk and when you bend over."

"Give it a rest, Chip." Lee said with more sternness as he moved away toward the head.

"You need to see a doctor," Chip mumbled, but when Lee ignored him and continued across the room to the little bathroom he let it go. "I got the software patch written and loaded and left the computer at the chart table. I went over it with O'Brien and Baker since they were both on duty. I'll get all the second and third watch fire control officers up to speed today."

Chip stood in the doorway of the little head, talking to Lee as he shaved. It was his first chance to get a really good look at the damage to his friend's body. He had a hard time maintaining the even tone he wanted in his voice as he watched him going through his morning ablutions. Once Lee stepped into the shower Chip left the doorway and headed back to his cabin. When he returned to Lee's room with his first aid kit his friend had begun to dress.

"Don't you ever knock?" Lee asked sourly, after trying to get to his feet when the door opened.

"Sorry, try relaxing a little."

Lee made no comment.

Chip laughed, "You were afraid I was the admiral about to see how truly awful you look." Lee's under the eyelashes glance was answer enough and Chip shook his head in amusement. "You are such an idiot some times. Do you really think he needs to see this to know you feel like crap? The whole boat knows there's something wrong with you they just don't know how truly, awesomely screwed up you are, the way I do."

"What do you mean the whole boat knows, the crew?"

"Lee, you wandered around the boat yesterday like a lost soul, you've got dark circles under your eyes and look like the walking dead, the cook knows you haven't eaten anything but soup since you got back. You think there are any secrets on this boat? They've moved from speculating that you're a vampire to wondering if you're a zombie."

Lee joined in his laughter and when Chip sat down in the desk chair and raised his eyebrows Lee came over willingly enough. Chip carefully cleaned the half dozen abrasions on Lee's chest and stomach and covered them with ointment.

"You know you've got a fever, right?"

"It comes and goes, let's not make a big deal out of this."

"No, we wouldn't want to make a big deal out of this, no let's ignore it shall we?" Chip jammed the rest of the contents back into the first aid box and slammed the cover closed. "My God you are stupid, this is a big deal, you got a death wish or something?" As soon as he'd said the words he was sorry and stood and grabbed Lee's arm when he went to turn away. "I'm sorry, Lee, I get angry when you do stuff like this and I don't always think. Pax? Come and pretend to eat breakfast with me."

"I'm doing the best I can here. I don't have time to worry about a few bruises that aren't giving me any trouble. When I get back to Santa Barbara will be soon enough to see this right. Until then I need to not let it get in my way."

"Actually, I do understand which worries me about myself. I won't say anything else I promise, but try and be careful, okay?"

"I'm always careful."

"Yeah, I know, cautious Crane they call you." Chip threw his arm around Lee and gave him a gentle hug, resting his forehead briefly on Lee's shoulder. He so wished he could do something for Lee. "I love you, buddy, now put some clothes on, I'm hungry."

"When aren't you hungry?" But Lee returned the brief hug and quickly grabbed a shirt and tie from the closet. While he buttoned the shirt Chip knelt on the floor and put Lee's feet in his shoes and tied the laces. Neither man said anything, exchanging a long look as Chip finished. Lee nodded at him and in another minute they were out of the cabin and on their way to the wardroom, deep in conversation about the improvements Chip had made to their fire control computer.


	2. Chapter 2

He kept an eye on Lee all through the morning. 1300 hours found the captain in the engine room, helping some ratings working on the back up generator. Chip stood over him until Lee looked up at him in exasperation.

"Lunch, Skipper."

He could see Lee hesitate, but he stood and waited him out. Giving an exaggerated grimace of distaste, Lee rose to his feet and followed him back to the wardroom. Chip managed to get him to eat part of half a sandwich with his soup. When Lee tried to leave the table Chip shook his head, "Cookie's got a treat for us."

So they sat and talked about boat business for another fifteen minutes while they drank milk shakes and ate a dozen chocolate chip cookies. Finally, finishing his glass and tipping it so Chip could see it was empty Lee quirked an eyebrow at the doorway.

"I feel like I'm going to burst," Lee said as they walked forward from the wardroom toward the Conn.

"Eating isn't that hard, we'll keep working on it and in no time at all you'll find it quite natural," Chip suggested.

"Thanks for the milk shake."

"Just being a good exec and looking out for my captain."

"Your captain appreciates it more than he usually lets on." Chip reached up and put his hand on Lee's shoulder. He found that more and more he needed to touch Lee to make sure he was really there and safe. It'd begun shortly after Lee came on board to take command of the _Seaview_.

It hadn't been that way at Annapolis. He'd watched out for Lee certainly and tried to make sure his intense friend took care of himself but he hadn't felt the same urgency about his wellbeing. He wasn't sure what had changed; maybe it was because now he felt that part of his job was watching over Lee. For what ever reason he often found that the last thing he thought about before going to sleep at night was Lee and that when he woke in the morning the first thing he wanted to do was see his friend and make sure he was okay. Lee was right; he was like an old mother hen. He smiled at himself as he watched Lee working his way around the Control Room, checking on all of the stations. Well if anyone ever needed a mother hen it was certainly Lee Crane.

In the evening they had dinner with the Admiral and Dr. O'Neil in the nose by the big windows. The scientist was very full of his research and seemed determined to explain his entire life's work to the two younger men with a little help from the Admiral. Chip kept a careful eye on Lee and could tell as the second hour of lecture approached that his captain was fading fast. He caught a quizzical look on the Admiral's face and a minute later the OOM looked at him and turned his head toward the circular stairs to their cabins. Chip nodded his understanding as the Admiral stood and walked over to the carafe of coffee.

"Will you join me in a cup, Tom? Lee I think we can excuse you and Chip now, I know your day started a lot earlier than ours did." Chip could see the speculative look on the Admiral's face as he spoke to Lee; a softer tone in his voice that he knew was caused by the other man's obvious discomfort as he started to rise. "Are you okay, Lee?"

"Just a little stiff, sir," Lee was leaning on the table with one arm; half bent over as he spoke, giving lie to his words. The Admiral stepped quickly over to him and grabbed him under the elbow.

"Did you see Frank when you came back on board, are you injured?" The Admiral sounded less concerned to Chip now than angry and he quickly stepped up to Lee's other side.

"I'm fine, sir, honestly, I took a couple of punches is all, nothing the corpsman can do for that." Chip kept his face carefully neutral and didn't contradict Lee's soft sale of the beating.

"Okay, but go get some rest, there's nothing else you need to do tonight is there?"

"We're done, sir," Chip put in before Lee could come up with some excuse for walking around the boat one more time. "I'm headed to my quarters, I'll make sure the Captain gets to his."

"Good, good, Chip, get him tucked away." Nelson said and gave Chip a quick nod before turning his attention back to Lee. "You should go see Frank in the morning anyway, he can at least give you something to ease the pain."

"Yes, sir." Lee said in a noncommittal voice, as the two men walked toward the stairs. Chip glanced back at the Admiral and saw the concern on his face. Now that Nelson had noticed how badly Lee looked Chip knew he would be more observant. He suspected Lee would be seeing Frank before very much longer.

"I can put myself to bed," Lee said sourly, as Chip followed him into his cabin.

"I'm here to make sure that's what you do." Chip leaned against the door, effectively blocking any escape by Lee who went and sat at his desk.

"I'm not tired, I'm going to work on this pile of reports for a little while."

"You're exhausted, even the Admiral finally noticed how tired you look."

Lee didn't say anything as he ran his hands down his face. He started to lean back in the chair and then, grimacing, straightened again. "Okay, I can't sleep and don't feel like lying in that bunk for eight hours thinking, okay, happy? So I'm going to sit here and do reports and when I get sleepy I'll lie down and sleep, now go away."

Chip hesitated, unsure how much more he could say. Lee looked like a refugee from the gulag, sitting in that chair hunched over with his arms around his stomach. Chip went into the head and got him a glass of water and some ibuprofen from the cabinet. Lee took the proffered pills without comment and swallowed them.

Chip knelt down and untied his shoes so Lee could toe them off without needing to bend over. Then he stood and put one hand on his friend's shoulder and waited until Lee opened his eyes and looked up at him.

"Thanks."

"I'll check back in a little while, get changed now so when you get tired you can sleep." He stroked his hand down Lee's back, resisting a sudden desire to pick Lee up and carry him over to the bunk and force him to lie down. He looked so tired, his face pinched with pain.

"Sure."

Chip hesitated, but couldn't think of anything else Lee would allow him to do and left. He worked on reports until 2230 and then walked back to Lee's cabin. He found his friend asleep at the desk still in his uniform.

"Hey," he gently stroked Lee's back, not wanting to shake him, knowing how sore he must be. At the first touch of his hand Lee jumped and then folded forward with a groan.

"Oh shit," Lee moaned softly as Chip squatted down next to his chair.

"Come on, let me help you, you've got to get some sleep." It took almost fifteen minutes to get Lee up and undressed, he was so stiff and sore he could hardly move. Chip suggested that he take a hot shower and see if he could relax his muscles. After standing silent for what seemed an age Lee eventually nodded and half walked half shuffled into the head with Chip following closely behind to make sure he didn't fall. When he finished Chip got him dried off and into the bunk. He sat on the side of the bed, relieved that Lee was lying down and no longer in danger of falling over.

He stroked Lee's damp hair back off his forehead and smiled when Lee looked up at him through half closed eyes. The shower might not have helped with the pain but Lee certainly looked drowsy and relaxed lying on the bunk. "Stay here for a while, nothing is going to happen, we're on our way home with this windbag of a scientist."

"I've got a boat to watch out for."

"And a crew to keep track of her for you. I'll let you know if we need some help, you need to sleep, you need to rest those sore muscles." Chip knew that stubborn set to Lee's jaw and pulled out his heavy hardware, "The admiral sees you shuffling around like some arthritic geriatric you'll spend the rest of the cruise in Sickbay." He saw that he had Lee's attention and pulled the sheet up. He brushed Lee's hair back off his forehead one more time so he could check him for a fever.

"I think your fever is down, I'm going, you sleep." Lee nodded up at him and the two of them remained still, Chip's hand on Lee's forehead, looking at each other. Chip ran his hand back through Lee's hair, "Sleep tight, buddy."

"Night, Chip." Lee smiled one of his beautiful smiles and Chip realized he was blushing. He couldn't understand where that'd come from but returned the smile with one of his own.


	3. Chapter 3

Lee woke him a few hours later, yelling something, and Chip was up and into his cabin before he was fully awake. Lee was sprawled on the floor near his bunk one leg wrapped in the sheet. Chip hurried across the cabin and half fell to his knees next to his friend. He very gently rolled Lee over and carefully eased him into a sitting position, so he was leaning back against the base of the bunk.

"What happened?" Chip looked up at the Admiral in the open door, tying the belt of his bathrobe around his waist as he walked into the cabin. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know, it looks like he must have fallen getting out of his bunk."

"My God, what happened to you?" Nelson had turned the main cabin light on now and had a good view of Lee's torso.

"I'm fine," came from Lee in a tone of resignation, "go back to bed."

"You're not fine, look at yourself." Nelson had come into the cabin and was headed over toward the intercom on the desk. "I'll call Sickbay have the corpsman come up and take a look at you."

"I'm fine, Admiral, please go back to bed." Lee was attempting to lever himself to his feet, using Chip and the edge of his bunk. Chip put his hand under Lee's elbow and provided the needed upward lift and Lee was standing, albeit a bit unsteadily. "I got tangled in the sheet is all, please go back to bed, I don't need this right now." The last cryptic comment was made as Lee more or less shook Chip's steadying hand off and walked into the head, closing the door ungently.

Nelson stood looking after him and then cast Chip what seemed to be a questioning look. Chip realized Nelson was looking to him for guidance on how to handle Lee. Chip guessed that while the Admiral and Lee had become quite close since his friend had taken command of the _Seaview,_ the Admiral had no experience with Lee at his most difficult. This was shaping up to be a very difficult Lee.

Chip sighed slightly, he wasn't sure he had any better idea than the Admiral what to do here, "I'll make sure he gets back to bed."

"What's wrong with him, aside from the obvious?"

"I don't know, something must have happened on San Lucca but he hasn't said what." Chip realized the truth of what he was saying even as he said it. Something had happened on that mission to severely shake Lee, something more than having the bejesus beat out of him.

Nelson hesitated and rubbed his hand back through his hair, standing it all on end, his attention focused on the closed door to the head where they could both hear the shower running. "I think he may be more likely to talk to you than me." Nelson said with a thoughtful tone to his voice and then with more certainty, "get him to talk to you Chip he can't keep on like this."

"Yes, sir." Chip had no idea how he was supposed to make Lee do anything he didn't want to do, but agreeing with Nelson seemed the only course. He was certainly going to do his best to get Lee to talk but he'd been trying ever since Lee came back on board with a notable lack of success. He doubted orders from Nelson would help the process.

Nelson must have read some of the uncertainty in his face for he continued, "Don't promise more than you can deliver, Mr. Morton, there are limits to even your prowess."

"Yes, sir," Chip turned to remake Lee's bunk.

"Good night." Nelson said and closed the door softly as he left. Chip had the bunk made up and was sitting in Lee's desk chair when his buddy came out of the head still toweling his hair.

"What are you doing here?"

"Admiral's orders, I'm to get you to bed and get you to talk, not necessarily in that order."

"Go away," Lee threw the towel into the corner of his cabin and turned down his bunk. "Shut out the light on your way out." So saying Lee climbed into the bunk cautiously and turned his back to Chip. Chip got up and turned off the overhead light before returning to his chair.

"Go away."

"No, go to sleep."

Lee made no more comment and Chip wasn't sure if Lee went to sleep or not, but he did with his arms folded on Lee's desk, pillowing his head. Lee calling out woke him and he half knocked the chair over, hurrying to get up and get to the bunk. Lee was again thrashing with whatever haunted his sleep. Chip grabbed his upper arms and held him down on the bunk, using his superior weight to keep Lee down while he tried to wake him.

"Lee, Lee it's okay," he tried to keep his voice low, knowing that Lee wouldn't want the Admiral seeing him this distressed. It took Lee almost a minute to wake and when he did he lay in the bed breathing hard, staring up at Chip.

Chip loosed his hold on his friend and smoothed his hair back off his forehead. He didn't know what made him take this liberty with Lee. He'd looked so lost and vulnerable, lying there sweaty and out of breath that Chip felt compelled to offer a small act of affection. He was pleased when Lee smiled at him, apparently unoffended by the gesture.

"Tell me." He hoped that, having permitted the physical liberty, Lee might now tell him what had happened on the island. But Lee shook his head no and awkwardly turned away from him toward the bulkhead.

Chip sat for a moment and then, without thinking too much about what he was doing, lay down on the side of the bunk and draped his arm across Lee. "Go to sleep, buddy, I'll keep watch here."

He thought he felt Lee nod his head and after a few minutes he felt his friend's body relax and decided Lee might have fallen asleep. When he woke and glanced up at the big clock on Lee's wall it was 0630 and his friend was still asleep next to him, a successful Lee intervention. Chip closed his eyes and remained still, listening to Lee breathing softly beside him, feeling the warmth of his body all along his arm where it lay over Lee's chest.

He'd known Lee Crane for…he thought and added up the years from that day Lee had walked into his room at the Academy to this morning in his bunk, over ten years. He'd been his friend for a short time, his brother for a longer time and since Lee had come to _Seaview_ something more than a brother but less than Chip realized he now wanted."

Chip had learned a lot about himself in the years since he'd been a midshipman and Lee Crane's roommate. One of the things he'd learned was that he could appreciate a beautiful man as much as a beautiful woman. It was a part of his character he'd always suspected but as a youth and a midshipman had not made any effort to explore. Later, as a grown man, he'd allowed himself to be more adventuresome and had enjoyed the experience.

It was only when Lee Crane took command of _Seaview_ that he realized the complexity of his feelings for his old friend. He understood that beyond the friendship and feelings of brotherhood there was another deeper feeling that he'd never permitted himself to consider during their years as roommates. Now lying next to Lee with his arm across his chest, feeling his heart beat through his hand he let his mind dwell on might have beens and might be's.

He knew Lee wasn't gay; he'd been on enough double dates and seen him with enough women to know Lee liked women. Liked them a lot and in a very heterosexual way. He wondered though if Lee might also feel for him some of the desire he felt for Lee? Lying there idly thinking, a luxury he seldom indulged in while at sea, he wondered if maybe he loved Lee more than he'd ever loved any woman? He wondered if there was anything he could ever do about it? Was there any way to find out Lee's feelings on this without ruining the most important relationship in his life?

He felt a hitch in Lee's breathing and knew he was waking, coming back to a world where he suspected there was quite a bit of pain, both physical and for some reason spiritual. Chip laid very still feigning sleep, wondering what Lee would do.

He felt Lee's hand on his arm and then the wonder of him leaning back against his body. He felt the warmth of Lee's naked upper torso against him. He concentrated on keeping his breathing slow and steady as Lee shifted, he felt so warm and close. Too warm, Chip suddenly realized and knew his breathing had changed at that realization.

"I know you're awake so move and let me get up." Lee spoke softly without the anger that had tinged so much of his conversation the previous day.

"I'm very comfortable, I don't want to move." Chip settled a little more deeply into the bunk and tightened his hold on Lee slightly, careful not to cause any pain. "You feel awful warm, is your fever back?"

"A little I think, at any rate I need a drink, so move."

"I don't think so, I'm very good here," Chip shifted so his forehead rested between Lee's shoulder blades as he snuggled in closer to his body. When Lee made no comment or move to dislodge him he smiled to himself. He might make a convert of Lee yet, but it would take some very careful courting.

The two of them lay almost spooned together for another twenty minutes as Lee fell asleep again and Chip relaxed and enjoyed the closeness. Eventually he looked up at the clock and realized he needed to get up and get on with his day, especially if he didn't want the Admiral to come looking for them.

After a brief hesitation he raised his head slightly and placed a soft kiss on Lee's shoulder and then climbed out of the bunk, knowing he would wake Lee with his movement. He stood barefoot on the deck while he watched Lee slowly roll over and look up at him with half closed eyes. Chip thought he'd probably at least given Lee something to think about besides what had happened on the island and that could only be to the good.

"You need help getting up?"

"No, I'll go slow and it'll be okay."

"I'll come back in twenty minutes and get you for breakfast."

"You get any sleep?"

"Yeah, actually I did," Chip smiled, "and I know you did too so that's good. Twenty minutes get moving."

"Aye, sir," but Lee made no move to get up and continued to look at Chip, expressionlessly. Chip nodded at him and left the cabin, hoping he didn't run into anyone, leaving his captain's cabin at 0700 dressed in nothing but his pajama bottoms.

The day passed in a pleasant haze of work and introspection. Having spent the night as he did with Lee and having allowed himself those few minutes of speculation about their relationship, he now saw Lee in an entirely new way. He'd gone from being his friend and commanding officer to being the man he loved. He knew he'd always loved Lee and he thought in the past few months the love had become more romantic than fraternal. This sudden blossoming in one night to a burning desire for so much more surprised him. He guessed he'd been carrying the seeds of this sexual desire within him for years and that closeness in the bunk had been all it needed to fully bloom. He was in love with Lee Crane and he was so happy it was all he could do not to break into song as he walked about the boat.

He replayed the final few minutes in the cabin over and over in his head. That gentle kiss on Lee's shoulder, the feel of his arm around his friend and most importantly that last long look from Lee as he stood next to the bunk. What had that look meant? Had Lee felt the kiss? What had Lee thought about the two of them lying there almost spooned together like lovers? What had that long look meant?

Chip felt a tightening in his pants and quickly stepped into a storeroom and stood leaning against the closed while he got his thoughts back under control. He was like a lovesick teenager. This wouldn't do at all. Lee was going to need careful wooing if he was even to consider any kind of a relationship with him. He couldn't be wandering around the boat with a hard on for his commanding officer.

At dinnertime Lee was involved in a fire-control drill in the Forward Torpedo Room and Chip ate with the Admiral who immediately asked him how he'd made out with Lee the previous night. Almost smiling at the unintended innuendo Chip assured Nelson that Lee had slept.

"Something's bothering him about what happened on that island. I wish he'd tell us what," Nelson spoke almost to himself as he stirred his coffee.

"Yes, sir, but he won't." Chip grabbed a second slice of pie from the passing steward and poured more coffee to go with it. He marveled at this conversation. He and Nelson had become so much closer since Lee had joined the boat. He never would have had this conversation with the admiral about Captain Phillips. Their relationship had become much more complex than that of three officers serving together. They were friends in a complicated sort of hierarchical way, held together by their shared affection for Lee and their mutual respect.

"Damn ONI for putting him in that place to begin with, they surely don't need to keep calling on Lee now that he's in the Reserves." Nelson had a scowl on his face, stirring his coffee with so much force that it sloshed out into the saucer. Sighing softly he picked the cup up and poured the overflow back. "Can't you get him to tell you what's bothering him?"

"I tried last night, no go."

"Never mind, Chip, you're already in an awkward enough position with your friend as your captain I don't want to make it any more difficult for you." Nelson finished his cup of coffee and leaned back in his chair. "I wonder if it would do any good for me to try and talk to him?"

Chip wasn't sure if Nelson actually wanted him to answer so he kept his silence, letting the other man talk if he wanted to. He knew how much Lee respected Nelson. He thought there was still an element of the hero worship that Chip knew Lee had felt at the Academy. He didn't know if Lee would talk to the Admiral, but he thought if he was willing to talk to anyone, it might be Nelson.

He found he didn't like that thought at all and worked to keep his face neutral. He didn't want Lee telling Nelson things that he wouldn't tell him. His hand tightened on the fork and he carefully put it down next to the half eaten piece of pie he no longer wanted. He didn't want to think of Lee and Nelson sitting together in Lee's cabin, having a quiet talk, Nelson maybe sitting on the edge of Lee's bunk where Chip had sat last night.

"Excuse me, sir, I need to check on the watch before I turn in." Chip wanted to get away from Nelson and think about this sudden new feeling. Had Lee already found a closer friendship with Nelson than the one he shared with Chip? Did he have a deeper relationship with the Admiral than Chip realized? He considered that Lee's fascination with the Admiral might be more than the simple admiration of a younger man for someone as impressive as the Admiral. Chip knew they spent some of their free time together when he didn't see them. He vowed to pay more attention to the two of them in the future. He didn't want to declare his love for Lee only to find the man was already involved with someone else.


	4. Chapter 4

Lee stepped back away from the fire control panel and nodded his satisfaction to Sharkey, "Good job, Chief." He spoke loud enough so all of the ratings could hear him and gave the group a smile that most of the men returned. "Jeff you need to be a little quicker getting out of the way once you get the torpedo pulled from the tube so Gus and Stormy can switch cradles I don't want anyone losing a finger in those gears."

"Yes, sir," Jeff Torenson said, a bit sheepishly as his two mates laughed at him. Lee had needed to jump into the middle of the drill and yank the man's hand out from between the two rotating cradles when they reloaded the tubes. It'd been a near thing that neither of them ended up in Sickbay minus a finger or hand. "Thank you, sir, that was one of my favorite hands." There was some general laughter from the assembled men and a couple of his friend's gave Jeff good natured punches as the group broke up and headed aft toward their dinner.

Lee walked out the hatch and headed toward the Control Room. It was still early and he thought he'd take a slow stroll through the boat before heading to his cabin to go over Chip's daily reports. That thought reminded him of Chip's kindness of the night before. He knew Chip worked as hard as he did aboard _Seaview_, both of them up early and working until late, but his friend had still been willing to endure what had to have been a fairly sleepless night to keep him company. It hadn't taken Lee long that first year at Annapolis to realize he'd won the roommate lottery. He'd gotten the best roommate, and soon the best friend a man could have, purely by the chance of room assignments. He wondered for about the thousandth time how he'd gotten so lucky.

As he stepped into storerooms and machinery spaces to check that everything was shipshape he let his mind play over the events of the morning. When he'd woken with Chip's arm across his chest he'd known immediately who was keeping him company in his bunk. He didn't think it was unusual that Chip stayed to help him sleep by providing that reassuring physical presence. What surprised him a little was that he'd enjoyed having his friend's arm across him like that. He'd felt so safe with Chip there. The first time he'd felt safe since he'd left _Seaview_ on that awful ONI run to the island. He wondered how Chip knew that he needed that closeness to sleep. He guessed Chip probably knew him better than he knew himself sometimes.

Chip was waiting for him in the Control Room. He was bent over the chart table with O'Brien the OOD but Lee knew he'd been waiting for him. He gave Chip a small nod and took his time working his way around the Control Room. He spoke to the radio operator for a few minutes about a persistent low electrical noise they'd been picking up for the past forty-eight hours. He spent a few minutes at sonar with a new crewman, watching him work the machine but not saying anything to disturb his concentration. Finally, he came up to the chart table and spoke to O'Brien about the watch and their location.

"Are you about done here?" Chip said as O'Brien moved away to make a circuit around the room.

"I'm working," Lee said, smiling at Chip to take any sting out of his words.

"So you need to eat and sleep too, all work and no sleep makes Lee Crane a cranky captain." Chip had his sternest XO expression on his face.

"Yes, mother."

"And don't you forget it. Cookie made a sandwich for you and he reheated the lunch soup. I figured you could manage that?" Chip's voice was low so no one else would hear him. "You feeling any better?"

"I'm fine, Chip, a little stiff is all."

"Good, I'll meet you in your cabin in ten minutes with your dinner."

Lee grimaced dramatically and sighing loudly left the chart table and headed toward the spiral stairs up to his cabin. He was tired and, he realized with some surprise, hungry.

"Don't you get tired of waiting on me?" Lee asked as Chip came into his cabin, balancing the tray with one hand as he closed the door.

Chip paused, studying the sandwich and soup intently. He carefully positioned the food on the desk and without looking at Lee spoke softly, addressing his remarks to the tray rather than his friend.

"Oddly enough, no I don't," Chip turned and looked at Lee, "do you mind?"

Now it was Lee's turn to study the tray and the desk. What had started as a light, hearted bit of teasing had suddenly become more serious. "I complain a lot about the mother hen stuff." Lee walked past Chip and over to the desk so he was standing close to his friend, almost touching him, but all of his attention seemingly on the food, "But I like that you care enough about me to take the time."

Chip put the back of his hand against Lee's cheek, "Fever is down."

"Yeah."

Chip dropped his hand so it was resting on Lee's shoulder and waited until Lee looked over at him, one brow raised quizzically. "I care quite a bit, Lee, maybe more than you realize."

Lee gave him a small half smile and bent his attention back to the dinner tray, "Maybe not."

Chip stood absolutely still, hardly daring to breathe while he worked his way around that statement from Lee, "_Maybe not_." He tried to think what Lee meant. Did he understand his feelings? Maybe return them? Did Lee understand what Chip was trying to tell him or was he responding to some other conversation that Chip didn't remember? He didn't want to push too hard and ruin what seemed such a promising beginning, but the desire to know if they were past beginnings and sharing feelings that Chip had thought he alone held was nearly overwhelming.

Chip moved his hand from Lee's shoulder so he could rest his fingers against his friend's neck in a gesture that was much more intimate than the friendly hand on the shoulder. He didn't move his fingers, allowing them to rest against Lee's skin and waited to see what his friend would do.

Lee looked up from his contemplation of the dinner tray and smiled at him, a small, uncertain smile, but a smile all the same. Chip considered leaning forward and putting his lips to Lee's but in the end all he could do was stand and look into his friends gold, brown eyes and return his smile.

"Eat before your soup gets cold," as soon as he'd spoken Chip was cursing himself for a lame fool. The most romantic moment of his life with Lee and all he could do was talk about food, one of the subjects guaranteed to bore Lee. Get Lee alone and smiling softly and talk about sandwiches and soup!

Lee looked back down at the food and Chip felt him sigh softly against the hand still resting on his neck.

"Didn't really want to talk about food," Chip said in a rush. "I said that while I tried to think."

Lee looked back up at him, his face expressionless.

"Lying there in bed with you this morning I realized," Chip hesitated, if this went wrong it could ruin his life. He looked into Lee's eyes again trying to read what his friend was thinking. He thought about the hand on the back of Lee's neck that was still resting there, undisturbed by any movement from Lee. "I liked it, I liked being that close to you."

Lee returned Chip's stare but made no other move or sound. He stood as still as a statue no expression on his face or response to Chip's comments. Chip dropped his hand from the back of Lee's neck and took a step away. "I'll send a steward to pick up the tray."

Lee put his hand on Chip's shoulder to stop him turning away. "Caught me by surprise, you're a great friend, Chip. Only a really good friend would do for me what you did, thank you."

Chip stood still waiting for more, but Lee only smiled and turned back to his dinner. After a moment of indecision Chip decided he'd quit while he was ahead. Lee hadn't moved away from his almost embrace or seemed uncomfortable with anything he'd said. Chip thought he could go forward from this point, not maybe tonight but at some point. The way was still open and that was a victory all by itself.

"Good night, Skipper." Chip closed the door softly and headed toward his own cabin. Yes, that had gone quite well. By the time he got to his cabin Chip had a huge smile on his face.

There was no noise from Lee's cabin during the night, or Chip cursed himself softly, he'd slept through it. He certainly hoped that hadn't been the case. He found Lee in the Control Room at 0610 wandering from station to station with a mug of coffee in his hand. Lee gave him a quick nod but continued his circuit of the room without comment.

Chip met him at the chart table and after they confirmed their position and exchanged a few words with the OOD the two of them headed aft to the wardroom.

"You sleep okay?"

"Yes, mother."

"Someone's got to keep track and if not your trusty exec than who?"

"It's the keeping track part I question." Lee gave Chip a quick sideways glance.


	5. Chapter 5

As the day progressed he wondered if Lee was avoiding him. Wherever he went looking for Lee he wasn't there, he'd just left, he'd been gone for an hour, he was on his way to somewhere else in the boat. When he caught up to Lee it was after 1900 hours and it was only because one of the oxygen generators went off line. He'd given him half an hour to see the job well started and then went to rescue his captain from himself and endeavor to drag him forward for dinner.

"I'm not hungry, Chip, I had a big lunch." Lee protested as soon as he saw Chip come into the air recycling room.

Chip nodded, knowing Lee had had half a sandwich and not finished that. Cookie felt it was his responsibility to keep Lee fed. The cook had recognized in the first two weeks of Lee's service aboard the big submarine that his only hope of getting his new skipper to eat even half what he thought he needed was to enlist the aid of the XO. Chip and Lee had easily fallen back into much of their old Academy relationship, which included Chip's chivying Lee over his eating habits. During times of stress his friend often seemed to stop eating entirely. Since service thus far aboard _Seaview_ had mostly consisted of one emergency after another Cookie had taken to reporting to Chip whenever Lee missed more than two meals in a row.

Now Chip nodded to Lee as he stepped back a little from the action around the air scrubber and waited. No way would he say anything about Lee's failure to eat all day in front of the crew, but by the same token he wasn't leaving Lee to work all night with no food. So he waited. Lee would know what he wasn't saying. Waiting, he studied Lee and reevaluated his earlier notion that Lee had slept the previous night. His friend looked exhausted with dark circles under his eyes. His face was gaunt probably from both lack of sleep and food and Chip could tell from the stiff way Lee was holding himself that he was in pain.

Lee hadn't woken him in the night because he hadn't slept. Chip didn't realize he'd sighed until he caught Lee looking at him over the backs of the three working crewmen. The half smile on Lee's face told him that his friend had heard him.

Lee gave him a slight nod and in five minutes the two men were walking forward toward the wardroom, side by side.

"You didn't sleep last night, it's written all over you. You've got some sort of pain meds they gave you on the carrier, but you stopped taking them. They make you drowsy and you didn't want to sleep."

Lee made no comment, walking slowly down the corridor, one arm held close to his belt the other stiffly at his side.

"You were afraid you'd wake me up again? Or were you afraid you'd wake the Admiral?" Chip stopped walking to prevent Lee from ignoring the whole conversation.

"We going to eat some dinner or speculate on my sleeping habits?" Lee asked, turning to face Chip.

"Sleeping habits."

"The pills make me sleepy and hung over. We'll be in port by 2300; I can miss a night's sleep and function fine. Now can we go eat?"

"Yeah, let's go eat because I'm sure you want something to eat?" Chip said with exaggerated sarcasm.

Lee turned and resumed his slow walk toward the wardroom. Two long strides and Chip caught him up.

"I'm worried about you, you don't look well." Chip wanted to reach up and feel Lee for a fever, but knew that the captain of the _Seaview_ wouldn't tolerate that familiarity that his best friend allowed in the privacy of his stateroom.

"I know," Lee said with a tiredness in his voice Chip knew he was deliberately sharing by way of an apology for his earlier brusqueness. "We'll be home soon."

The meal passed with very little conversation as Chip ate and watched Lee try to stay awake while playing with his food. Once Chip finished his steak he reached across the table and took Lee's dish, swapping his own.

"Wasted on you."

Lee shrugged abstractly but made no comment, beyond listlessly playing with his glass of water.

"Come on, I'll postpone my desert long enough to see you to your cabin."

"I'm heading to the Conn, no point in turning in now, we'll be docking in another four hours." Lee put his hand on the table as he pushed his chair back.

Chip reached across and grabbed his forearm to slow Lee's rise and spoke softly. "So you've got some pain medication and I would guess an antibiotic you're supposed to be taking."

Chip watched Lee's eyes darken as his expression hardened. He didn't say anything though, continuing his delayed movement away from the table.

"Catch you later," Lee said, as he moved toward the hatch.

Chip finished his pie thoughtfully. He understood Lee's reluctance to see the corpsman on board. Lee would figure the doctor he'd seen on the carrier had taken care of all his injuries. Chip understood how Lee's mind worked regarding his too frequent injuries. He didn't understand the underlying cause of Lee's aversion to the medical profession but he understood its operation perfectly. In the Lee Crane School of medicine it was, sometimes, necessary to see a doctor but it was never necessary for a follow up visit. Doctors sometimes proscribed medications but it was never necessary to actually take them. Doctors assigned periods of rest but such were always optional. What was amazing was how often Lee's actions worked out. Occasionally, of course, he ended up in the emergency room or near death because of his disregard of the medical profession but it mostly seemed to work out well enough to keep Lee ignoring modern medicine.

Four hours later and the big submarine was docked and nearly empty of her regular crew. Chip finished his last walk through the boat and headed forward to find Lee sitting at the conference table on the Admiral's front porch.

"The OOM gone?" Chip asked, as he sat down opposite Lee and began sorting through the pile of reports waiting for him.

"Yeah, left half an hour ago." Lee didn't bother to look up, his head supported on his fist.

Chip slid the bottle of pain pills he'd liberated from Lee's cabin across the table. He knew Lee had seen the medicine by the tightening in his face, but the other man made no comment.

"You planning to climb up that ladder in an hour when we finish here?" Chip asked, concerned he might have gone too far in going into Lee's cabin after the pills. "I saw them last night on your desk," he answered the unasked question. "Thought they would be more useful here than there."

"You take a lot upon yourself, Mr. Morton."

"You tell me. You climbing up that ladder without those pills?" Chip stood up and went to the coffee pot on the credenza and poured two cups. When he returned to the table Lee took the proffered cup and neither man mentioned the bottle that had disappeared from the table.

The next hour passed in desultory conversation as they read through the final department reports and signed off on them. Late leaving crewmen called out companionable 'Good-byes' as they passed. Chip handed the last report to Lee and waited for him to finish reading before rising to his feet.

"Come on let's see how good those pills are?"

"What makes you so sure I took one?"

"I'm the XO, you would never disregard my good advice without telling me why." He looked at Lee, knowing this to be absolutely true. He thought that was probably why they were such a good team. They had so much respect for each other, so much trust.

"I need to get my gear," Lee didn't look up from folders he was neatly stacking on the table.

"I had the COB arrange to move my car over to the dock and load our duffels. Nothing standing between home, and us, except your procrastination. Come on, let's go." Chip could see that Lee was still reluctant to leave, wandering away from the table toward the big windows instead of toward the ladder to the sail.

"Lee?"

"Okay, okay I'm coming." Lee turned and walked over to the ladder, pausing before he reached up and grabbed the rails at shoulder height. Understanding now that the delay had been about waiting for the control room to empty before he started up the ladder Chip quickly walked over to stand behind him.

"I got your back." Chip assured him softly.

Lee gave a quick nod of his head. There was very little Chip could do to help. Lee climbed the ladder slowly but steadily never stopping his slow ascent. Chip shook his head, wondering how much pain that had cost before quickly following his friend up onto the deck.

Lee made no complaint about riding in Chip's car. The drive to Lee's cottage on the NIMR grounds was short and silent. Chip parked his car in the driveway and turned toward Lee who was slumped in his seat with his head against the window. It was only when he began to speak that Chip realized his friend was asleep. He got out of the car, grabbing their duffle bags and closing his door quietly. Even so when he came back to the car from unlocking the house and dropping the bags Lee had woken and was struggling to get out of the seat. Chip caught him by the arm and helped him onto the sidewalk.

"So, did you take those pills on an empty stomach?" Chip asked softly.

Lee made no reply, shaking off Chip's arm in the entryway and heading toward the back of the house.

"Damn pills make me sleepy, I'm showering and going to bed. Don't bother driving, stay here." Lee's speech was slightly slurred and Chip grinned as he followed Lee down the hall. Didn't only make him sleepy, he thought his friend was probably feeling no pain at all.

_I am going to end this story at this point and continue the rest of it as "Waking Lee - part 2". The second part of the story will be rated M so you will need to change your rating setting in order to view it. To all those who have been following the story and taken time to send me notes, thank you very much._


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